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Hello and welcome,
I was talking to a client recently who told me that he enjoyed the Message Board and went on to express some of his thoughts about the topics that he found really helpful. I was glad to be speaking with him face to face, but I wondered if he'd seen the invitation to "Leave Your Comments" found at the end of each article. You know, feedback like that (critical or otherwise) is so valuable; and I am sure this would also be true for our Guest Writer Section by Allan Flood...
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For new members to this publication, the Principles in Business Message Board is about connecting with clients, friends and followers. One of the ways we seek to achieve that is through our monthly Feature Article... one of many existing and future ways in which we intend to share, educate - and provide a source of personal reflection about the human condition.
Having said that, it is just as important to us that readers are able to share their experience of life with the intent to deepen the collective source of reflection and learning. So to that end, we will soon introduce other features (blogs, twitter, etc.) where people can contribute, and have their reflections be a learning path and a source of reflection for themselves and others...
In the meantime, enjoy the following features:
Podcasts: a wonderful medium that allows us to communicate ideas to millions of people at one time. With podcasts, we learn again to really listen and absorb the spoken word (and in my experience at least, really listening is a dying art). Each month there will be a new podcast, each representing an eclectic array of views on this year's theme: our human experience. Some will be science-based while others will be philosophic in tone. Some will provide perspectives that challenge the Three Principles stance - some will amplify the listener's understanding of the Principles.
Guest Writers: a section where readers are prompted to reflect on any aspect of the Three Principles, or how they have grown "from the inside out". If you would like to share your insights and experience for publication you are most welcome. Before you do, please READ THE CONTRIBUTOR GUIDELINES.
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As always, to those who have sent messages of encouragement, comments and reflections since I began this Message Board; and who have also encouraged others to join - many thanks. I deeply appreciate your support.
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The Message Board Feature Article
THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE Part 5:
Openness - the Lifebuoy Within
In the previous Massage Board we found Rose inviting her friend Frank (rather insistently) to join her for coffee. The invitation was sparked by Frank's rather puzzling behaviour - his apparent stress and his claim, some weeks earlier, to have had a deep insight into the nature of living a more contented life. The conversation, if you recall, began awkwardly. But later, there was a pivotal moment between them...
"Maybe I need to go on an inner hike. What do you reckon?" (to which Rose had replied that he already was! And that in fact we ALL are!)... adding "Maybe you're on the hot sweaty part of your hike and you'll come out of your tent, lay back on the cool damp grass and experience the unity of the cosmos once again. Maybe you'll realise what is real and what is illusory then."
AFTER a slight pause Rose asks "What do you mean by 'an inner hike'?"
"Well, right now I feel at ease and surprisingly pretty good, but only ten minutes ago I was angry that you'd forced me to have this coffee break. In fact, I resented the imposition but now; I feel less stressed and agitated. I've been agitated for weeks and it has been building up more and more each day. By day's end my head is ready to explode - full of stuff. I can't settle at night so I watch TV or play internet games long into the night; and when I do get to bed I toss and turn most of the night. The next morning I come into work by train, which should be the perfect opportunity to chill out for twenty minutes - but do I? NO!" Frank continues with a half smile, "Even talking about it raises my temperature!"
They both grin, and Rose asks "So how does all this relate to the inner hike?"
With a playful smirk Frank replies "Hey Rose, I think you know the answer already. I need more coffee breaks. No! Just joking... I just forget that my inner hiking pace is too exhausting. I just don't notice the frenzied pace of my head and you and I know what that means. But really Rose, you can't keep inviting me out for coffee breaks every time you see me losing the plot. To tell you the truth, today nearly turned ugly." "What do you mean; nearly?" she asks, as they look at one another.
There seems to be a new understanding, and all is forgiven.
"As I'm talking about it with you now, it's all pretty simple. But in reality it is a very tough gig when you are lost" ponders Frank before realising the time. "Hell!" he says, "Look at the time. We'll both get the sack if we don't get back to work!"
With that he gently clasps her hands, his deep appreciation for their friendship clear in his eyes and face; saying quietly "Rose, thanks for the reminder. I'll remember to settle down more often."
They stand and embrace for a moment before walking towards the door.
Buoyancy Within
To have a friend or colleague like Rose is a godsend. People like her are able to see when we've 'lost the plot' and their relationship with us is such that they are able to remind us that we're stressing out. As Frank observes, 'coffee invitations' can turn ugly!
Why is it so easy for others to see that we are 'stressed out' while we ourselves are blind, oblivious to the growing inner distress. Perhaps it isn't so much that we are blind to the symptoms. Perhaps it is because we are blind to the cause. To some degree Frank is able to see that he needs to 'chill out'. He knows his head is 'full of stuff'. Indeed, the expectation that we need to calm down can add even more fuel to our stressful world. Our friends are able to see the cause AND the solution of our distress - just to calm down.
From the standpoint of our stressed mind it looks like the first step is to have an inner openness (awareness) to notice, without any expectation or desired outcome or performance judgements (e.g. I'm not getting calmer; It's not working) to contaminate our intention to be calm. This openness allows us to observe, while being thrown about by our agitated mind. It allows us to find an inner anchor and an interior place of buoyancy. A lifebuoy - an anchor in rough waters which does not prevent us from experiencing the overwhelming conditions (we can still find it hard to breath because of the turbulent swell crashing over our face). Yet, we are buoyant and safe.
Being open to our anxiety, stress and worry without being lost in the agitation provides us with the inner buoyancy required to anchor us, in full knowledge that the storm will pass. It is a form of faith. A knowing that we have an inner buoyancy AND the storm with pass. Coming to realise this more of the time seems to help us steer away from inner storms because we are more adept at reading the inner signs when the storm is brewing...
The Human Experience Pt.6 continues next month...
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© David Bodman 2011. Permission to copy for personal use is granted.
 LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS
"The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."
Will Garcia (1877 - 1951)
Track and field athlete who competed in the USA's 1904 Olympics
WE ARE WHAT WE DO
There is a lot of reading and other material around which focuses on 'mindfulness' and its benefits. In fact modern psychology has directed much research into the therapeutic benefits of mindfulness training. As human beings, we possess an innate ability to be conscious or self-aware. At the same time, our minds have the capacity to be distracted and dysfunctional. This is not an accusation; simply an observation. Being present to or paying attention to that inner world enables us to see the ebbs and flows of our thinking in all its forms. It also provides us with the intuitive knowledge from our senses and physical body. As the inner awareness increases so does our ability to live our lives more fully, even with what is often labelled as mental illness (depression, schizophrenia, etc.). Taking steps each day to be aware of our inner world increases our capacity to live healthier and dynamic relationships. It is not about analysing our inner world but being open and awake to our inner world.
...David |
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
Calendar Events for 2011
Hollywood would have us believe that relationships are sweat, then difficult and then transformed at the end. Life-giving our relationships are who we are within ourselves and with others NOW. Living the good times, messy times, the ordinary times ... but, it is always life-giving...
This Snapshot is a time to share, reflect and deepen our insights about how to live in relationship with ourselves and others...
Join us, Saturday 25 June
Life Giving Our Relationships
Audio Podcasts
CALMING YOUR ANXIOUS MIND
(Windows Media - 5.27mb)
Dr Lara Honos-Webb from Visionary Soul interviews Dr Jeffrey Brantley MD, a practicing psychiatrist and author of many books on mindfulness (Five Good Minutes). The interview focuses on the importance of mindfulness today... hope you enjoy.
What's your experience?
Did you like this podcast?
Guest Writer: Allan Flood
Seeking happiness? Then seek meaning, not happiness. Happiness follows finding life meaning, not the other way around. In this culture we’re often taught to seek happiness directly rather than as a result of finding meaning in life. The result is addiction to things and strategies that leave us empty and frustrated. When our lives are meaningful in the moment despite our circumstances and suffering, we are happy (satisfied, fulfilled). When our lives lack meaning we are likely confused, anxious, depressed and apathetic.
Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, Nazi concentration camp survivor and author of "Man's Search for Meaning", saw time and time again that, when his fellow prisoners had meaning in their lives, a purpose for continuing, they survived. Those who didn't have meaning gave up and ended their lives.
Core human needs point to meaning in the moment. When I need support, support has meaning to me and suggests that I look in that direction for happiness. When I need safety, safety has meaning to me and implies that I should look for security to find happiness. When I need play, recreation has meaning to me, etc.
Our core values, our basic human needs, as I've discussed in earlier segments, are clues to what gives us meaning in the moment. I would suggest that, by identifying your core needs you also discover where the meaning lies in your moment to moment experience. And, as you look for what gives you meaning in the choices you've made, the uniqueness of your life, what you take responsibility for, what you discover about yourself and how you transcend your self-preoccupation you'll find great meaning and happiness right now.
Links to Allan Flood:
Perfect Misfortune
(Kindle/Revised)
www.allanflood.com
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