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The Message Board Feature Article
LIVING AFRESH Part 1:
Living Now
"Oh Hi Frank!" said Rose, almost colliding with Frank as she turned into Murray Mall off Wellington Street. "I'll be back at work in the morning Rose" he said. "Well, I returned Monday and I've hard at it for a couple of days" replied Rose.
They both walked towards the cafe and sat at their usual table. "Over the last couple of days I've been dreading returning to work..." said Frank. "Well," replied Rose "spare a thought for us workers... it feels like Christmas came and went without me noticing". They both felt somewhat disappointed with the inevitable finish of holidays. "It would just be nice to have a couple more days to prepare myself," continued Rose "but here I am catching up with all the stuff left on my desk from before - and the new jobs keep coming in".
Nourish Living Afresh
We've all been where Rose and Frank are and in our hearts we know we are creating our own distress. Wishing for more of the past, hankering after just a little more time to enjoy the possibilities of what one or two more days might bring, or projecting into the future all the negative expectations of some future misfortune.
In doing so, we rob our present moment to live afresh. No matter what THE MOMENT is, positive or negative, we suck the oxygen out of being present. We innocently distract ourselves from being present to our life by wishing something different from THIS moment.
Dare I say this topic is coming from my own present experience? It is a journal of my last week or so, with all its distractions and concerns. My mind is full of 'stuff' (a technical word meaning lot of congested thinking), and if I were to take some of my thought seriously one would say I'm in difficulty.
"It's just my thinking" doesn't do it for me. Due to my overcrowded mind my feelings are raw, poignant and all over the place - and again, if I were to be guided by them ... I would be in grave trouble. So THE MOMENT is messy. Very messy!
Over the week I have had moments of joy (tending the veggie patch or the delight of a little child in the supermarket who waved to me with her infectious smile as I returned the gesture; or standing as a day ends to experience a cool breeze that brings the muggy heat to an end - the gentle squall of cold air that caresses my face is just delightful). These moments are occasions where I am present and open.
So is it possible to BE-IN-THE-MOMENT as my mind is constricted by doubts, worry or even hopelessness, accompanied by awfully disordered feelings that arise that anchor me to discomfort or even worse ongoing helplessness?
How about when these appalling feelings last with the strength and steadfastness of a long distant runner? Can I live in this NOW, without wallowing or escaping or at least the desire to flee to the comfort of TV, going for drive or tackling a long awaited job just to numb the self-absorption of my thinking?
What I have noticed is there are two types of AWARENESS. The first is that I know that I am feeling bad and that my thinking is laboured and reactive. This awareness seems to weigh me down and even entices me into focusing on 'fixing myself' or doing something about my low mood; always with an accusatory sting to it tail.
The second AWARENESS is somehow lighter and objective. This doesn't take away the impact of me feeling moody or sad - I just know my present state will pass. Strange to say, this provides me with hope. Hope in the sense that I know that my better self will return, evidenced by the moment in the supermarket line and being invited into my healthier self by an enchanting child who waves hello.
The word objective seems unusual. Yet, it feels like I can retain an evenness of mind although my mind is far from being settled or relaxed. There is objectiveness beyond my rattled thinking and this provides me with an inner confidence. This awareness is neutral in the sense that there is no inner self-talk associated with it or a drive to push my inner world in a particular direction. It is living with what is; the now with little attention on my messy, uncomfortable and even distressing experience.
So in answer to my own question above; is it possible to BE-IN-THE-MOMENT while my mind is obsessed by doubts, worry or even hopelessness, etc? Yes I think it is possible. When I go beyond the awareness of my biological and psychological noise and listen to the awareness that allows me to live my moment without interference; then I am living afresh in the moment.
© David Bodman 2012. Permission to copy is granted.
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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
The Banyan
Podcast - Playtime 30 mins
All in the Mind's continuing series on mental health in India. In 1993 two young college friends found a near-naked woman on the streets of Chennai. She was psychotic, alone, and her very visible suffering was ignored by all those around her. So begins the story of The Banyan - a shelter for women who are homeless and mentally ill. The powerful motto of The Banyan is "I exist therefore I am", and today it is temporary home to over 260 women from all corners of this vast country. These are the stories of women who have been abused, raped, lost, ignored, violated and subjugated: the stories of the invisible women of India.
Liked this podcast? Email me
LIVING AFRESH: Allan Flood
It's been asked... "How can I live a life that's fresh, present and in the moment?" We recognize the value of seeing the world through new eyes, of experiencing life in the moment like a child. I have a different take on this question that comes from beginning to appreciate that, as much as I would have it be different, this moment is gone and the next moment will never arrive.
We live in a reality of constantly manifesting and disappearing moments caused by previous moments and conditions held together by memory. There is nothing in the world that is permanent, nothing that isn't the result of previous conditions and that aren't changing constantly. Even our sense of "I am" and the awareness that manifested it when we were very young goes away when our bodies de-manifest.
Everything is conditioned and preceded by other things, events, people, etc. Everything is truly, truly impermanent. Yet, how we struggle to hang onto those things, people, memories, experiences, feelings, thoughts and ideas hoping and believing they can be forever. It's so human to want to "be" forever and protect this "self" we've carefully nurtured for so many years. And yet, even this self, this sense of who we are, is impermanent and an artifact of consciousness, our thinking and our memories of previous conditions.
It seems to me that the true miracle, given how absolutely impermanent and conditioned we are, our selves held together by our thinking, memory and consciousness, is that we manage to live lives that are not afresh. Now that's a miracle.
Other links to Allan Flood:
Perfect Misfortune
(Kindle/Revised)
www.allanflood.com
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VOL. 5 ISSUE 1 :: JANUARY 2012